On March 12, 2020, I earned my third stripe on my white belt after just a little over a year of grappling with monsters, sometimes in the gi, sometimes no gi, and, embarrassingly, with a bout with ringworm thrown into the mix – a completely different kind of monster. Gross.

By March of 2020, I had begun to increase my training frequency, and I was really beginning to get comfortable with my increased level of fitness. My flexibility was good, my strength was good, and my cardio was great. My then new, and now former cardiologist told me that I was in relatively good health considering that one of the valves of my heart only had two flaps to open it instead of three, as a healthy heart should have. She told me to keep doing what I was doing.

No problem, I thought, and I few weeks later, I did one better. I finally mustered up the courage to step foot inside the local MMA gym, and walk out onto the mat. At 43, a former smoker, and with no history of organized sports beyond basketball in the eighth grade, I proceeded to struggle through the warmups and the drills two times a week for only a couple of weeks at which point the instructor allowed me to roll.

Roll is definitely the wrong word for what I was doing. I was getting annihilated. But, I didn’t think it was too bad. It did not take long before I began to figure a few things out, especially when rolling with fellow white belts, I felt I could hold my own to a degree. I was invited to come to the no gi class. It was a new experience. A lot faster and a little slippery.

By the time I found out that there was a wrestling class on Saturday mornings, and I was all in. I began dreaming about a career change. How can I make a living in Jiu Jitsu? What belt would I need to achieve before I merited some credibility. Purple? Man, these classes are tough, and our instructor does not seem to like to promote, does he? Would a blue belt be enough? Even though I did not see a short pathway to a career (I certainly wasn’t going to be a high-level competitor at my age and athletic ability.

I never had any delusions about that. But maybe I could teach? I have some background in teaching, and lord knows I have been through enough traditional educational programs and earned various degrees, but all I wanted to do was train Jiu Jitsu. It’s not only fair to say I was obsessed, it is 100% accurate to say I was obsessed with learning and training Jiu Jitsu. One of the highlights of my life was when I travelled to Europe during the summer to visit some old friends (none of whom train Jiu Jitsu) and I negotiated the public transit system in Vienna Austria to step foot on the Jiu Jitsu mats there. As a two-stripe white belt, I successfully defended and defended for a 6-minute round without being submitted by a blue belt. I did, however, get triangled by another white belt. Triangled! In a foreign country. It was awesome!

In my defense, it was in the sixth minute, and I had only ever rolled 5-minute rounds.  By December, quite a few of people I train Jiu Jitsu with were entering a Jiu Jitsu tournament about 2 hours away from our hometown. After a few weeks of reluctance I decided what the heck, and I signed up for both the gi and no gi masters divisions in the over 205 pound division.

About a week out from the tournament I went out to eat with two friends to a hibachi style restaurant, with an American style salad bar. I filled up at the salad bar, and when I woke up the next day, I had a fever and no voice. I coughed and ran a fever for 3 days. On Saturday, the fever was gone for the first time, but I was still coughing. By Sunday, I figured it would be a bad look to show up at the tournament coughing all over the place.

I called the director and I pulled out of the tournament. It sucked. After so much hesitancy about signing up, once I did finally pull the trigger to register, I became determined to win all my matches.

My training had been going great. I had recently tapped a blue belt at my own school, and everyone I trained with was younger and more athletic than me. Plus, we were all getting good, and we could tell. We had an excellent instructor, and the level of Jiu Jitsu in our class was good.

Three months later, on March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic. Like most everyone in my class, I pushed up against the limits of the unprecedented shut down, and I earned my third stripe at the end of my last class on March 12, 2020.

I was just beginning to start getting good. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, and I have a small office at work. I’ve been able to isolate and stay COVID free for the whole year. But isolation is not easy. The most difficult part of all of it? No Jiu Jitsu.

I built a grappling dummy using some plastic tubing, foam, and duct tape. I watched countless videos online. It was obvious we would need a vaccine, and I thought 18 months was an optimistic estimate for when the vaccine would be available.

As Spring changed to Summer, and Summer turned into Fall, I began to go crazy. Not only could I not train Jiu-Jitsu, but I could not go to any type of gym. My heart condition involves some complications that place me in a high-risk group for serious issues if I were to contract COVID, so for the entire year I have taken very few risks. There was that onetime when I drove across the country to buy some medicinal herbs. Other than that, I took no big risks.

Then the ice storms came, and I was really trapped inside.

My friend came and picked me up on Thursday morning and we drove up north to the horse park where we received our first dose of the vaccine. The snow was deep and it covered the first rung on the fences. The temperature was just below freezing so it wasn’t too cold and the horses stood majestically on the fence lines. I must admit, the park looked beautiful. I did not even feel the injection.

It dawned on me one day last week: I am not good. Jiu-Jitsu is good.

I get me second dose of the vaccine next week, and then I will be back on the mats trying to learn and stay humble.